I Came to Dance (Dance Dance Dance)

It was just a regular night out on the town with the typical cast of characters.

The Go-Go Dancer. “Hey there, look at me. That’s right, I’m dancing. Yeah, you like that, don’t you? Why don’t you come on over here? What’s that? Oh these? These are just my rock-hard abs. Oh, I can tell you’re impressed. Come on, you, why don’t you hand over some of those dollar bills you got there. You know you want to.”

The Emo Chick. “Ok, I’ll go, but I refuse to enjoy myself. I’m wearing a frown and a black fleece. You got a problem with that? Fine, you can kiss me. No, don’t. Don’t look at me. I hate you. I hate everyone. Hold me.”

The Drag Queen. “Girl, I am looking GOOD.”

The Creepy Straight Guy. “I know what I’ll do. I’ll go to a gay bar and hit on unsuspecting women who are there for a fun and relaxing night out with their friends. I bet that’s what they really, really want me to do. I won’t have any competition, so they’re bound to suddenly find me wildly attractive. Why didn’t I think of this before? It’s brilliant. I cannot fail.”

The Straight Girl. “Why do I go to gay bars? I guess it comes down to the lack of unwanted groping. Thinking about sneaking into the club to get away with something? No one’s ever tried that before. If you so much as try to touch me, I will knock you to the ground so fast you won’t know what hit you. Now buy me a drink.”

The Extremely Sweaty Man. “So. Hot. In. Here. Going. To. Pass. Out. Can’t. Stop. Dancing. So. Very. Sweaty. Must. Keep. Dancing… [Turns to date] What the %@#&?!?!? Are you TEXTING?! I have been dancing my heart out here, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am dangerously dehydrated, and this is what you’ve been doing this whole effing time!?”

6 Comments on “I Came to Dance (Dance Dance Dance)”

  1. Um . . . ok. You forgot to add the Straight Mennonite Guy: “Dancing? What’s that? You go where to meet women? You don’t meet good women at those places. I’ll stick to meeting the ladies at church.”


  2. i would love to know what the inspiration was for this blog post! amazing. i like it a lot. did you go clubbing and not tell me about it?! i thought it would be funny to write something like this after having gone contra dancing several times in georgia. perhaps i will do further research and attempt it :-) well done!


    • Oh you know, just a regular night out on the town. Capitol hill to be more specific. So fun. Probably going to do it every Saturday night from now till forever.

      Seriously though, the sweaty guy was REALLY sweaty. We were concerned.


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